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I've
known the Garfield Christmas story for years, but
have only recently watched it. You see I have a bunch
of Garfield books and within one of these books, somewhere
around the 21st or 22nd book, is this Christmas story.
But I'm here to review the TV special, and not some
book. It's not a well known fact that I don't know
how to read.
We
join our heroes on Christmas Day, although they're
not really heroes since they have no foes to battle
to the death. Jon wakes Garfield and surprisingly
Garfield doesn't have a witty line about sleeping.
This is clue number one. Jon then gives Garfield
about thirty lasagnas that lead him to the Christmas
tree. This is clue number two. Also, Jon is wearing
some sort of elf costume. Now, I wouldn't put it past
the guy to put something like this on, but on the
other hand it's really a little too fruity even for
Jon. This is clue number three. Jon gives Garfield
the best gift anyone could imagine. It's a chair with
a scary Santa face on the back rest that'll give you
anything you wish for. It's kinda like a holodeck
except you can take your wishes anywhere. This is
the fourth and final clue. Clues leading to what?
Well this is too good to be true, so what is it? That's
right, it's a dream. We're really gonna spend the
entire Christmas special at the damn Arbuckle farm.
On
the way to the farm, Jon starts to reminisce about
the old days, and there's even a flashback with a
song. That never happened in the book. At the farm
we do the whole meet and greet. It's really your standard
fare. I mean, anything you would do, if you're normal,
when you'd arrive at your holiday destination. We
meet Jon's mom, dad, and Doc-boy right at the door.
Yet there's someone missing from the picture, someone
old, a bit cynical, and tough as nails.
Of
course it's Grandma. The first thing she does is elbow
Jon in the stomach, something I think we've all wanted
to do. Then she goes and puts chilli powder in the
sausage gravy, and, when you're in a cartoon, putting
chilli powder into things is completely badass.
Odie is up to something, which is surprising due to
the fact that Odie has about as much in the head as
your average brick. But it's almost time for the Christmas
feast so we can't worry about things like this any
longer. Time to eat!
At
the table Mom asks Doc-boy to say grace. And he does
so, for about two hours. After that piece of showmanship
is finished, they dig in. Grandma, having befriended
Garfield, gives him full plates of food under the
table. Oh what mischief! What well happen next!? She
says that she's eating for two now and sufficiently
frightens the whole table into submission. After the
meal Jon offers Garfield the left-overs and in a surprising
change of pace, Garfield refuses. Of course he's already
had enough food to feed a small third world country,
but on the other hand that cat is a horrible glutton.
Putting
up the Christmas tree is something that my family
does on Remembrance Day (Veteran's Day for you Americans).
It may seem a bit early, but if you consider that
the mall has had its decorations up since two days
past Thanksgiving, which is in October here,
it's not that bad. I never got this idea that you'd
put up the tree a couple of hours before Christmas
Day. The Arbuckles, however, put up the tree on Christmas
Eve.
Doc-boy
then tries to play and sing a Christmas song on the
piano, and it's bad. Really bad. Grandma
takes over, and what does she do? She rocks the house.
After she's done, Mom takes over and everyone joins
in for another song. In fact, I think more than everyone
joined in. I'm not sure how good Lorenzo Music was
at harmonizing, but there's definitely more than the
usual cast involved with this song.
The
next part is the tear jerker sequence of the special.
If I hadn't had my tear ducts replaced with lazerz
I might just have gotten a tad bit misty eyed here.
As it stands I need to call someone that knows about
fixing walls. Grandma tells the story of her husband
and how he was a man without emotion, except on Christmas.
I'm really not doing the story justice. This is one
sequence that I think you just need to watch.
Remember
when I said Odie is up to something? Well, here he
is in the barn making something. At first it seems
illogical and stupid, but it's a gift that every cat
would want. What is it? You're just gonna have to
keep reading! Also, Garfield sneaks in to see what
Odie is up to only to find the perfect gift for an
old, lonely lady.
THE
NEXT DAY
THAT WOULD BE CHRISTMAS DAY FOR THOSE
OF YOU KEEPING COUNT
Christmas
day at the Arbuckle farm starts off everyone opening
their gifts. Jon has apparently gotten a crappy red
sweater, and Doc-boy has gotten a toy airplane. How
old is this guy? He's gotta be in his twenties right?
And he's getting toys for Christmas? But then again,
I'm in my twenties and if you take a look at my wishlist,
it's not much better. Even just taking a look around
my desk you'll find I've got more Transformers than
a power station. So I take it back. Doc-boy can play
with his airplane. Dad's hat is funny because it's
bigger than a regular hat. Mom got squat.
If
you didn't figure it out from my incredibly obvious
hint above, Garfield gives Grandma old love letters
that Grandpa wrote a long time ago. That's ingenious
for a couple of reasons. The first one being Garfield
gets massive brownie points with Grandma because it
reminds her of good times. Secondly, it cost Garfield
nothing, not a cent. Really you're just giving a gift
that was given to the same person in the past again!
And they're happy with that? I guess so.
Oh,
and before we draw this to a close; what did Odie
give Garfield that every cat wants?
A
back scratcher. Oh yeah, that hits the spot.
And
so with that we end our trip through the Garfield
Christmas Special. No matter what I have said in this
article to the contrary, I do like this special a
lot. We laughed, you cried, it's an all around good
special.
Remember:
"It's not the giving, it's not the getting, it's
the loving." - Garfield.
LASAGNAS
AWAIT BACK
AT NINJACULTURE!
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