**EDITOR'S
NOTE: Even though this is not the first day of the
12 Days dealiewhacker we're doing here at Ninjaculture,
it's the first time I've taken a turn, and as such,
I'd like to extend my own heartfelt welcome to you
readers who have come to partake in the holiday-themed
fun. As an aside - and I haven't told Andrew this
yet, so don't you go telling him either -
I'm mightily pissed that a cool picture of
ME doing something festive isn't also on that top
logo thinger he made. But you know what? It's the
holiday season, and since I can't theoretically kill
anyone this close to Christmas, I'm just going to
have to vent my anger in article form. Alright? Alright.**
For
those of us who still have the opportunity to submit
Christmas Wish Lists to their elders and/or significant
others, Christmas represents a gigantic swirling miasma
of mystery and suspense in regards to exactly what
gift they decide to get you. Er...in addition of course
to being a holiday of happiness and cheer, I suppose.
But when that enigmatic package under the tree bears
your name, and you need to quickly figure out what
it is, what's the best way? Shaking it may cause damage.
Your X-Ray vision has been failing of late. Other
people who may be 'in the know' cannot be bribed to
divulge information.
Fear
not, friend! For cutting through the fog of confusion
and mystery is this handy, and more importantly, fast
guide to figuring out exactly what that gift is! You
can print out or write down the following section,
and whenever you come across a gift that puzzles you
to no end, just run through the checklist. You'll
be well on your way to total awareness in no time.
Here we go!
HOW
TO TELL EXACTLY WHAT YOUR CHRISTMAS GIFT IS
1.)Open
it when nobody is looking.
Congratulations!
You've completed all the steps to help yourself both
sleep easier at night and prepare the correct emotional
response when you open the gift 'for reals'. As an
extra bonus, you can cut down on needless 'together-time'
if you are forced to guess what gift it is before
opening it - because you will already know! Good for
you!
That's
all! Just take this guide with you and be prepared
for a much less worrisome holiday season.
MAKE
WITH THE GOING BACK TO NINJACULTURE
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