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Black
Battle Convoy: Hey! It's Devil Gizzigatron, yo! I've got
this puzzle here, would you like to do it with me?
Devil
Gigatron:
Don't ever put extra z's in my name. I hate that almost
as much as I hate puzzles, which already has a bunch of z's
in it. I have a big z complex.
BBC:
I'll give you this Tahitian Treat if you'll do this puzzle
with me.
DG:
Well, I guess. I wasn't going to do anything else today besides
try to figure out how in Iron Eagle IV Doug Masters, the main
character from the first Iron Eagle movie, somehow comes back
to life after being blown to pieces in Iron Eagle II.
BBC:
Yeah, they had some crazy story saying thathe ejected and
was held prisoner. What a load. You can clearly see him not
ejecting at the last second. Anyways, here is the puzzle.
DG:
Ooohh! It's a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Puzzle! Well why
didn't you say so? That's the only kind of puzzle I don't
hate!
BBC:
It's 100 pieces of pure enjoyment that should last us all
of five minutes. Hey, do you think it's safe for us to do
this puzzle?
DG:
I don't see why it wouldn't be.
BBC:
Well, we are transformers and all and the Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles were a contributing factor which eventually
lead to the downfall of our G1 bretheren.
DG:
You can't blame it entirely on the TMNT. I mean, the series
pretty much died when Optimus died. Oh I can still remember
it, thousands of children crying themselves to sleep. It was
truely horrifying!
BBC:
What are you talking about? You weren't even concieved yet!
That was 1986! We're 2000 line Japanese Transformers.
Technically this whole article should be written in Japanese.
But let's not get into symantics of it all, let's just get
on with the puzzle.
DG:
Hmm. Good idea. I'd hate to waste all this time on not
puzzling.
BBC:
Puzzling. Puzzling. Hmm, say, do you ever wonder what's in
Tahitian Treat?
DG:
No, but I'm guessing (read: hoping) it's the blood of innocent
Tahitians.
BBC:
What?
DG:
Think about it. Why would they call it Tahitian Treat
if it wasn't?
BBC:
It could just mean that in Tahiti they consume this drink
a lot.
DG:
No, millions of innocent Tahitians are in that bottle right
now. I can hear them.
BBC:
There are so many things wrong with that arguement I'm just
going to drop it. And not because I'd lose either, but to
save you from the horrible embarrasment of having to admit
that you're wrong.
DG:
I AM YOUR SUPREME LORD AND MASTER! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!
BBC:
What was that all about?
DG:
Well, I am, and I haven't said that in awhile so I thought
I'd go for it.
BBC:
Right. Hey look! It's Botcon 2002 Exclusive Glyph!
DG:
DIE!
Devil
Gigatron immediately slays the rediculous Autobot Keychain
Glyph.
BBC:
Well,
this puzzle seems to be going nowhere. We haven't even touched
the pieces yet. I'm outta here.
DG:
Me too. If Andrew can't write good dialogue for us I quit.
So I quit. Later.
Andrew:
Hey! Now what am I supposed to do for the rest of the article?
A jig? Heyyy.. that doesn't sound like a bad idea! |
