| As
I mentioned in part one, the only good
way to ensure that your ideas aren't stolen is to have really
bad ones. And so far, since I haven't seen any "James
Bond Has A Licence To Kill" movies yet, my hypothesis
seems to be intact.
Well
today I intend to continue with this line of reasoning. More
bad ideas abound!
[4]
Knee Shorts!
When
it comes to Short Pant technology, we've seen nearly everything.
Regular shorts, long shorts, trunks, pants that turn into
shorts, and shorts that turn into pants. But where oh where
are the Knee Shorts? The general trend is to properly protect
the upper portion of the leg and leave the rest out in the
cold. Well, I propose we merely reverse that, as seen
above, and voila! The kids will have something stylish to
wear while listening to the bands like "Licking Park"
and "Deaf Zeppelin" on their stereos.
[5]
Key Your Car!
A
lot of people out there have really nice cars these days.
I of course am not one of those people. But many other
people have rather nice cars, and do you know what they do?
They can't enjoy them. They lie awake at night worrying. Worrying
that some punk is just gonna waltz into their neighborhood
and 'key' their cars up. Now, to the layman, this term might
imply something unintelligible! But it actually is quite simple.
The act of 'keying' a car means to take a key or other sharp
object and scratch up the paint on the nearest or shiniest
car available.
So
owners of nice cars can only lie there in sleepless torment,
wondering when it will happen to them. But no more! By offering
to initite the keying at their request and under their
supervision, for a small fee they can just get it over
with and finally get some sleep at night. Just wear the above
(or similar) sign by a freeway or major thoroughfare, and
before you know it, you'll be making money hand over fist,
and keying the crap out of all kinds of nice cars.
[6]
Creative's EAX Software!
Okay,
I'm gonna state right off the bat that a.)I did not come up
with this and b.)this has already been invented. But I just
felt that it needed to be showcased along with other horrible
ideas and brought to the public's attention.
Environmental
Audio was a cheap attempt by Creative to add "lifelike
sound" to various PC games. Gamers could load up presets
included with the software and add spiffy reverb effects and
tiny sound tweaks to their favorite games and make them more
immersive overall. Sounds great, right? It might have been
were it not for the fact that it was hideously unstable.
That's
right. In fact, over the last few years I have found that
most games run better without it, and some are simply unplayable
with it on (Drakan and Baldur's Gate come to mind). So congratulations
go to Creative for making something so useless it gets showcased
with retarded ideas that don't even exist. Take that.
This
concludes the second installment of Really Terrible Ideas.
For some reason I just focus on horrible ideas while I'm at
work, so stay tuned for future installments. |
