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I bet you thought this would be an article about Guns n' Roses.
Well, it's not, even though everything about the title leads
you to believe that it involves Slash in some fashion. No,
no, no. Today you're going to have to read about me since
this is my staff page cleverly disguised as an article. The
way I see it, alot of people put alot of hard work into staff
pages but they hardly ever get read. So with some clever trickery
and shananigans this staff page will be viewed at least
twice.
I
started NinjaCulture about half a year ago even though it
hasn't been up nearly as long. For about a month NinjaCulutre
was nothing more than a logo. I was unfortunate enough to
lose my internet connection when a horde of monkeys lead by
their Panada commander, Diamond Lou, destroyed the very modem
I was going to use to start this website. Or that's what would
have happened if my ISP didn't shut my internet connection
the day before just because I wasn't paying for it.
Greedy, wine swilling, MTS mogules.
What
is NinjaCulture? Well, the way I've been describing it to
people is that it's a pop-culutre site. In a way it is, but
in a way it's not. You probably won't see an article about
Britney Spears written in the same ilk as, say, a Ninja Turtles
Review. So maybe it's a Retro-pop-culture site with a twist
of personal homepage. I really have no idea what this shit
is.
 As
most of you know (and should know if you've read anything
on the site) my name is Andrew and I live in Canada. Contrary
to what you may think, Canada is a pretty big place surrounded
by bears and free range eskimos. You American folk should
be catious. The rumors are true. The Eskimos are going to
attack. The ones in my head told me so. That's me on the right,
just incase you ever need a really high contrast picture of
me.
When
I'm not battling cold little native american men in my head
I like to partake in the odd crappy movie, good movie, Transformers
episode or work on the site. In my spare time I make money
to live by mixing trance tracks under the psuedonym "redLymb"
(that mp3.com site is horribly out of date). I don't know
what the name means but people seem to like it. Hey, it bought
me a DVD player. Now maybe if I can mix my way outta debt
I'll be set to spend more money on more eBay crap. And while
on the topic of spending money...
 
I'm
one of those people that would be classified as a "morbidly
impulsive shopper" which means that one day I'll die
shopping at some store. Just drop dead. I once bought a Black
Convoy (part of the Japanese Car Robots line) direct from
Japan. I can't remember exactly how much I paid for it, something
like 7 gajillion yen. Then I hear that FOX and Hasbro were
bringing the line and show over to America. Well shit. At
least I have the Japanese boxes, I said to myself trying
to justify the purchase. Pretty damn expensive boxes. The
same thing happened to me when I purchased a Gundam model
from Japan. I've learned my lesson. Things from Japan will
eventually make it over here, and with english instructions!
The
rest of my interests are as varied as varied goes. I can tell
you which episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation they're
showing on TNN in under two seconds. I could rattle off the
entire Star Wars Death Star speech from Clerks if you really
wanted me to (but really, who would?). And I apparently kick
quite a lot of ass at the Tetris in the Winnipeg International
Airport, but only that particular arcade for some reason.
These skills are useless in today's working world. No business
is built on the knowledge that there was a whole lot more
to Guinan that met the eye.
It'd
probably be easier if I just did this in sections, so here
we go:
 
Movies:
I'm a pretty big Kevin Smith fan. Watch his movies, in order,
and with an ability to laugh. I also like Darren Aronofsky's
work. Pi and Requiem for a Dream were both such great movies.
I'd have to say I like Requiem more because it just has that
edge that makes you not like it, and I like that. I'm probably
the only person to consider the Back to the Future movies
brilliant. But they are. If you haven't seen them in awhile,
watch them again, you'll be glad you did. The Evil Dead trilogy.
BRUUUCCEYYYYY!! Chopping Mall is a movie we saw at
CMF at that both Nathan and I fell in love with. That's about
it aside from a few cartoon movie adaptations, the weekly
crappy movie and, of course, Star Wars.
TV:
With pre-packaged "Reality TV" everywhere these
days, I've lost faith in this medium. The only TV I'll watch
is rediculously late at night. For those of you that don't
know, there are two things on late at night; Various informercials
and reruns of shows that weren't all that great to begin with.
I love them both. Infomercials are incredible now that they've
figured out how to whip water. That's right, they can whip
water until it has a glue like consistancy. And I like
crappy shows probably for the same reason I like crappy movies,
they're just so kawazy!
 
Games:
You'd think that I'd be really big into the newfangled games.
To be honest with you, I'm not really. The last console system
I bought was a Nintendo 64 and my computer is a Celeron 300.
Not exactly top notch gaming platforms if you know what I
mean. I do play Quake 3 with friends on some occasions and
have been known to pick up a PS2 controller and steal some
cars in GTAIII. There have been two mainstays in my gaming
life however. The first being Sonic the Hedgehog, and sega
in general. It's hard to put into words how much Sonic Rules
but prepare to see more sonic stuff on the site in the future.
The other is Duke Nukem. Duke has it pretty damn good. Chicks,
guns, and rock and roll for the low low price of saving the
world countless times. Also, my NES gets more action than
a chinese whore on a good night. Gotta live for the classics.
Music:
Music is pretty important to me and, as I mentioned earlier,
I even make some. I like everything except Pop, Country, and
Opera but I mostly like Trance and Drum n' Bass. Download
Paul van Dyk - Live at Rosenmontags Rave (2002). It's
two hours of some of the best Trance mixed live by one of
the best DJ's ever to spin. Also I've got this wierd little
niche in my musical tastes for 80s music. New Order, Stan
Bush, and Lion all have place in my playlist.
You
can always contact me by AIM: Terrahawk
X. The name stems from my old message board days and I
don't really feel like delving into that here. Or if you don't
have AIM, my ICQ # is 5693979. I'm not on ICQ much anymore
due to the massive amounts of spam but you can give it a shot.
And there's always the super email: andrew@ninjacultr.com.
Okay, so it's not really "the super email", it's
more like a Hotmail account I created that catches all the
spam and your awesome letters.
Even
though the site has only been around for a couple of months,
here are some of my favorite NinjaCulture moments thus far:
   
   
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