| Since
the early 80's I/O
Stream, the forgotten founders of Hip-Hop and modern
'grammin' gangsta rap, have been rapping and ryhming there
way into our hearts and groins. With thier continuing release
of online hits the answer to the question "will they
ever be stopped?" remains a resounding no.
Canadian
Tire Matt, who wishes to remain anonymous, leaked the latest
I/O Stream Super hit to us here at NinjaCulture. And we being
the upright citizens that we are, we're gonna post it. So
just click below to download it! (we apologize about the quality)
DOWNLOAD
I/O STREAM UNRELEASED SUPER HIT "CODIN' IT UP"
And
now an extremely fictitious Behind the Music bonus!
 From
thier rise to fame and subsequent ass kicking, these two programmers
from the tough streets of Southern Manitoba have had to pay
thier dues, of success.
Behind
the Music: I/O Stream
With
thier edgy lyrics and outright social commentary, I/O Stream
has taken the world by storm these past three decades. But
how were they able to hold on to thier code without it slipping
through to black slurry of rotten manure below?
It
all started back in 1971 when, at age 30, Conrad "SerialC00L"
(no last name) was born. Coming from a home without electricity,
Conrad decided to take his life elsewhere, living on the street
for months at a time. When finally landing a programming job
at the nefarious Microsoft Corperation, he didn't know that
the cold hand of evil had just wrapped it's devilish digits
around his throat, causing him to suffocate under the corperate
rule of Bill Gates.
| |
| Mc
Jackswitch "Cappin'" a fish |
Conrad
got a his first breath of fresh air when in the fall of 1983,
after programming in Windows for 12 years, he met MC Jackswitch
for the first time at a bar in the sleazy, red-light district
of Winkler, Manitoba.
MC
was a typical DOS programmer. Already known in the programming
world for not being able to count past 256, he was the perfect
yin for Conrad's yang. The two hit if off and signed a multi-million
contract with the European record company "Übermusik-haus".
Being affiliated with the german record company, Conrad officially
changed his name to Konrad as per the Übermusik-haus
executives orders. Thus the beginning of I/O Stream.
The
two were unstoppable, explicit and resonate. Touring with
the likes of Kraftwerk and David Hasselhoff, the relentless
grip of drugs and parties showed no remorse for the two young
stars.
Kraftwerk:
Ja, ve are Kraftverk. Ja, ve vere with zee I/O Stream. Zey
vere alvays "parting it up" and cursing to zee point
of insanity. I just stayed home and vorked on my beats, ja.
There
hit single off of thier debut album, "C What I Mean?"
went platnum worldwide as impatient programmers identified
with having to wait for thier source to compile. Though the
pie of impatience may have a tasty, flakey crust, it's fatty
and deadly.
Through
most of the 80's, the pair showed no sign of slowing down.
The drugs, the language, the attitude, and the girls seemed
to get wilder with every passing, agonizing second. Some had
speculated that they had lost thier true motive for forming
the group.
SC:
Our goal is to take some of these timid programmers, and scare
the crap out of them.
MC:
We mainly aim at non-programmers who aren’t as timid,
and try to convert them to our fast-paced way of life, and
choose DOS as the OS of choice.
SC: And make the timid ones crap themselves!
They
chose the DOS as thier OS of choice. But could it have been
the only smart choice they made in the late 80's?
By
the early 90's the band had burned out. MC Jackswitch was
appearing less and less as Konrad stumbled through lyrics
and ryhmes as though he was Vanilla Ice. Cars and guitars
weren't enough for these two gangsta rappers anymore. Thier
addictions were taking a hold of them like a pirhana on a
severed limb.
Then
the cold hammer of tragedy struck the band like a galvanized
nail. MC Jackswitch had died from a 'grammin' overdose on
January 21st, 1992. He was found at his computer, finger tips
bleeding with millions of lines of code on the screen. Not
two days before did thier German record company drop them.
But the bird of luck would crap on them once again.
In
a strange twist of fate and bird shit, the program that MC
Jackswitch had just finished coding was one to ressurect the
dead. Fortunately he died while pressing the compile button
and was quickly restored back to health a few minutes after
he was found dead. This signified a sweeping change in the
band. Focussing all of thier energy they would be using for
drugs and women into cursing and programming.
In
1995 they launched on thier fourth World Tour and thier own
record label simultaniously.
 While
in Japan preforming "Operation Disk" to a crowd
of 14 thousand, a clown in the audience started heckling the
duo. The clown later turned out to be Ronald McDonald, international
terrorist and drug Czar. This wind of hot air fueled the fires
of hate for years to come.
Rumors
started flooding Usenets of secret unreleased I/O Stream tracks
aimed against the McDonalds Corperation. The now famous "(explitive
deleted) McDonalds" and "(explitive deleted) (explitive
deleted) Ronald (explitive deleted)" tracks were never
officially released by I/O Stream but the general consensus
is that they are infact I/O Stream material.
After
thier successful 7-year world tour, the two gangsta rappas
went back into the studio to record thier 53rd album.
Through
the 20 years the world has enjoyed I/O Stream, they've had
their share of rollercoaster ups and downs. Thier explicit
lyrics show no signs of slowing down like a congested highway.
They have proven that they can withstand even death, and that's
what it's all about, not dying.
MC
Jackswitch: We are I/O Stream, famous gangsta rappas...
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